March 5, 2022
Ahhh!! Welcome!! Welcome!!!
First and foremost, this is the first blog post that I have EVER written!!! So bear with me.
I know for a fact I WILL have spelling errors & questionable grammar. That’s just me. As much as I proofread & try to perfect my writing…. things always find a way to goof up. It’s important that my friends’ “readers” know first and foremost that this blog will not be written in a serious or professional tone. I’m a VERY quirky person. When I write, it’s from my heart. I have been contemplating what I should write in my first post because that’s precisely what it is…my first post. It must be good. Here we go….
I am adopted from China. Being adopted had a significant impact on how I viewed myself growing up. Kids say the meanest shit. I remember a kid slamming my head into the bus window telling me that my birth parents didn’t want me, and that’s how/why I ended up here. That China didn’t want me, and neither did the school I was at. This bully, specifically, has had a lasting impact on my self-confidence. If I’m ever feeling less than or rejected, sometimes that scenario is replayed, even to this day. My mind always comes back to that specific topic for some reason. As a child, I experienced lots of bullying. I was a different kind of kid. A rule follower who always did “expected” things (homework, extra credit, told the truth, etc.) a goody two shoes, if you will. Letting people down, especially adults, wasn’t my cup of tea. Kids my age didn’t understand. They always left me out because everyone knew that I followed the rules and listened to adults 24/7. When I would come in crying from the bus, my mom would always hug me and tell me that I was an “old soul” and “mature for my age.” I never fit in with the kids my age. I constantly desired deep connections, which most kids didn’t understand or reciprocate. Whenever my mom gave me advice, she would always say, “Brianna, you were made for your twenties; you will always have older friends.” When I was younger, if I’m honest, up until I was about twenty, I would do all I could do to be accepted, if that meant like a specific show, music, clothes, etc. I would do it. Then when friendships wouldn’t work out, I’d be so upset because I changed what I liked to fit in, and that still wasn’t enough at the end of it.
Now that I am older, I concur with my mom’s advice about my twenties. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my life is that I was made to be me. I will be surrounded by people who will love and accept me for who I am, what I like, respect my morals and beliefs, and most importantly, encourage me to be exactly who I am. It took a lot of heartbreak and lots of friends, but when I finally did find the relationships that I needed, the long journey made it worth it.
Accept who you are. Know that the people who don’t accept you are not the people you want in your life. Even if it takes time, finding people who love and get you for you is worth the wait.
You are worthy, loved, and valued for exactly who you are!
